500 Wedding Ideas

As a brides maid do I have to put money in a card at the wedding after I have already thrown the shower?

So far I have already spent close to $500 dollars on the dress, shoes and alterlations alone. Her shower was about $250 and I still haver not bought any accessories, or had my hair done in the fashion the bride requested, she has also demanded we get manicures and pedicures on her wedding day. Also I have given her a gift from her registry at her shower.

Public Comments

1. Wow!!!!!! When I got married my bridesmaids has dresses that costed under 100 and I paid for their hair. I didn't even get a shower. If you already gave her a gift, I wouldn't worry about giving money too. Maybe just a card that says how happy you are for them and thank them for having you be part of their day.
2. I think you have spent more than enough already, although I'm thinking most brides would be miffed if they didn't get a wedding gift. My daughter was in a similar situation last summer, didn't spend quite as much as you have, but close, and she did get a small gift for the bride and groom, a basket with wine and wine glasses. It would be nice if there was a subtle way to say thank you for letting me spend a month's rent on your wedding in return for a$25 pair of earrings (or whatever gift you get for being in the wedding party), but alas good manners would not let you do that...
3. yes u have to get her a wedding present...i know it sucks. my presence should be enough....my sis just got married this month and I threw the shower all by myself (that was her shower present) and i got her an iron and other things for her wedding. U sound like you have a demanding bride if she wants all the bridesmaids hair and nails matching. we all got to do our own hair, makeup and nails. really ALL eyes are on the bride so who cares what the bridesmaids look like.
4. It sounds as if your friend has gotten a bit out of hand, demanding that your toenails be done to her specifications. You have a few options here: 1. Go along with her demands and consider changing the status of your relationship after the wedding. 2. Look into how you can have your hair and nails done for cheap: beauty schools offer very low prices for their students' services. Or maybe you have a cosmetologist friend or relative who would do them nicely for free. 3. Sit the bride down and explain to her that all of her demands are putting too much of a strain on your pocketbook. If she objects that you agreed to fill this role, remind her that you must live on a budget and still need groceries after the wedding. Ask her if you may do your own hair and nails, or if she is willing to "help" with the costs, if she continues to insist. But to answer your question: gifts are just that - gifts. They are not obligatory. It sounds as if you have already given quite a bit. Also, remember that you have up to a year to send a wedding gift, which may give you the time to save up for a nice token, like a framed snapshot from the reception or bachelorette party.
5. You've already laid out a bundle of dough here and still the bride expects you to shell out more money. What is this, a wedding or a spending-spree? You are under no obligation to put money in a card after having doled out all these dollars already. If you want, however, you could put a token amount in - say, maybe $10.00 cash. This bride sounds like something of a spoiled brat or another b-word I could use.
6. Don't do it It a gift enough for you to be in her wedding! Being a bridesmaid is expensive enough... and you're doing her the favor of being in it. No need to break the bank! She'll make up for it somewhere else!
7. I agree with the $10 in the card statement. Maybe a $20 bill instead. Just something that won't make her stop in the middle of the gift-giving wondering where the gift is. If she throws a fit over the $20 bill, kindly remind her that you have spent over $750 trying to make her experience a pleasant one.
8. You have given too much already.