500 Wedding Ideas

What do you do when the almost step-daughter "crys her way into being a brides maid"?

I have 8 days till the wedding and she came to me crying.. Timmed it just right so that her father would be walking in the door from work just about the time we really got into the converstation. We are only having about 30 guests, and it's in Reno, NV on a Monday.. I'm not so upset that she wanted to be in the wedding as I am at the way she went about it. With her father walking in the door, seeing her all water works up and running and me sitting there wondering what the heck to do. Dad just shrugged his shoulders and made his way to the kitchen. What was I to do.. I told her to go buy a dress and she could be the 3rd brides maid.. Now,, I have to find another guy to be in the wedding or she will be walking by herself,, oh and don't forget, we leave THIS SUNDAY and the wedding is the following day..

Public Comments

1. Just have one of the guys walk two girls downt the aisle. I've seen it done. AND GET USED to being played. She's her daddy's little angel and she will always come first.. just know that.
2. Mixed families are so difficult. I am sorry. I hope you and your fiance have discussed his expectations for your relationship with his daughter ( does he want you to discipline or no?) since she sounds like a real winner. not
3. Sure the timing was pretty shady but to be honest I'm suprise you HADN'T already asked her since she is going to be your step-daughter. Kinda woulda helped to cement that relationship. I know when my mom remarried I wasn't asked and was a little offended. I would have thought as her daughter I would be much closer than some random co-worker. Don't worry about finding another guy. Just have the two walk together and she can walk by herself. Instead of carrying flowers have her carry the supplies for the unity candle or the sand ceremony (I reccomend you do this with all the kids...again symoblic bonding and shows you want them too. Not just daddy). It will look like she's alone on purpose and you can run to the craft store and get supplies for that much easier than a new guy and a tux.
4. it seems like the time to do anything about it (I.E. tell her no!) has already passed. either find someone quickly or she will have to walk alone!
5. It wouldn't have been last minute if you had asked her to begin with. Shame on you.
6. You asked "what was I to do"? Hold your ground, as a parent, and IF you decide she should be in the wedding, work her in so that it's not a logistical nightmare. I tried to throw timed theatrics with my parents, being 27 I can still recall that pretty clearly--the results were succinct. My parents retained control of the situation, I sure as heck didn't get my way, and I got a huge dose of humility to boot.
7. Do you have a junior bridesmaid? How old is she. You don't need to find another guy. I would assume people will understand that she is in the wedding because she felt left out or whatever, like it was her day. (Ha, okay sorry, flashbacks) anyway, I would just make her get her dress, and make her walk as a junior bridesmaid. She is still in high school I am sure. Of course the way she is acting, you could make her the flower girl if you really wanted. :) I would not have told her anything. I would have said, well since you want to be in the wedding, and since it is so close, and you did not mention this before, i will need to discuss this with your father, and we will get back to you. Please go to your room, and we will call you when we are ready. ( I do that alot, because I don't want to be suckered into an answer anymore, when if I would have talked to my husband, he would agree with me.) I love the kid to death, probably more than her mamma, but you have to put your foot down somewhere, and I have to say the same for you. Just remember, tell her you need to discuss it. When you do that, you will earn more respect from him, for wanting his opinion and you will also most likely get the answer that you want. Even though she is the daughter you are the wife. :) Good Luck and CONGRATS!!!!
8. She should have been in the wedding from the very beginning. You are marrying her dad, do you have any idea what kind of impact that will have on her life? It is entirely possible that this wedding is crushing a dream of hers - that someday somehow her parents will get back together. We all know that's not going to happen, but it's different when it's your own parents. Try to be kind to her, include her in your new lives together. If you can't find another guy, it's not a big deal, she can walk alone, the attendants don't have to match. Why don't you go shopping with her and find a dress she can wear. You guys can have a good life together, you just have to work at including everyone in your new extended family.
9. don't stress about finding someone to walk with her. Do try, but don't stress. If you can't find someone who is comfortable with leaving like, now, then just calmly explain to her (WITH HER DAD!) that you two tried but she just has to walk alone, and make it seem like not a big deal... just a matter of fact. She will still get to be in the wedding, and maybe she'll LIKE walking alone: center of attention right?
10. Explain to her that you have your bridesmaids already, But however if she wants to be part of the wedding crew, Here is a thought, Have her be in charge of making party favors for all the wedding guests to place on each table, or Have her be in charge of giving out the birdseed or rice to you guys after you come out of the church, I was in the same situation, i wanted to be a bridesmad to my sister in law, but she wouldnt let me , cause i was akward, Sooo, I sat down, and got mesh and a big easter basket, I cut the mesh into squares the same color as the gowns, and poured rice in each one, i made 200, and wrapped them up and put a ribbon to hold them, put them in the basket and handed them out at the end of the ceremony, There you go a job well done, and i got to be in the wedding crew, it takes only 2 days to make , or a couple hours, She if she would be satisfied with that? If she is under 10 then thats still good, and i was in my 20s when i did that, i did felt like a kid, doing that, and felt horrible, but i ended up doing a good job, and all was satisfied, oh by the way you get mesh at an art store they will give her a role of it, or use birdseed, thats safer
11. Boy oh boy. You and your man need to figure out how you're going to deal with this kid. She sure knows how to push buttons. Considering she's a child, don't worry about getting a man to match her up with. She can be like a "junior bridesmaid'.
12. Hmmm.. you didn't say how old she was. You seem to suggest that she planned on when to break down about it- kinda like you think she was acting or something. It's tough to be a girl, maybe up to now THE girl in the house...and now she has to share her dad all the time- and her unique status of being the only girl will be gone. When my Dad got remarried- he, the new wife asked me to be in the wedding by being in charge of the guest book. I was like 14- so I was just happy to be part of all of the excitement- and yeah- I loved the idea of getting a new dress and being part of everything. Honestly, I would have been hurt if I hadn't been asked to be part of their new life together. Cause their new life together included me. so I say- don't worry about getting another groomsman. That's your so to be husband's responsibility anyway. I say be happy that she's excited and wants to be part of the 'new' family.
13. I would suggest a much simpler solution than finding another guy to be in the wedding. Just let one of the groomsmen walk two women down the aisle at the same time. He'll come off looking like a pimp, and your almost step-daughter will feel included in the wedding. I can certainly understand why she's upset- not only did you NOT ask her to be a bridesmaid from the start, you're also thinking she's being conniving about the whole thing. You're not just marrying her dad- you're marrying into a new family. It's time you start treating her like family. Best wishes for the wedding!
14. gosh, unfortunatly its somthing you are going to have to get used to. my soon to be step daughter is almost 17 and lays on the water works all the time to get her own way, im only 25 myself, so she also used that as a leverage with her daddy. youjust have to get on with it
15. how old is she, why not make her a jr bridesmaid, they donot need walked. Is she to old? You handled this very nicely through. Congrads!!!!!!
16. How old is she? Under age, make her a junior bridesmaid and then don't worry about a guy to walk with her. If she is an adult, that is so lame...still don't worry about a guy. She wants attention, let her stand alone.