500 Wedding Ideas - What is it with brides and baby etiquette?

What is it with brides and baby etiquette?

I have a question here concerning baby etiquette at weddings. Emily Post etiquette states that nursing infants are to be automatically invited wherever the mother is. Do brides who choose to have adults only weddings not know this or do they just disregard it? As a side note, I haven't run into the kids/no kids at weddings problem yet, and I have no problem with adults only weddings, but I just wanted to know.

Public Comments

I'm a bride and I say yuk to brats
As to be exspected nursing moms should have their babies with them at all times thats how I feel anyway. As for an all adult wedding I haven't heard of that..But Im sure there are exceptions.
Babies scream and cry and interrupt the ceremony. I was married in June and my friend brought her nursing infant and was courteous enough to sit near a door where the baby could be brought out if need be during the ceremony to avoid interruption. I've never seen an "adults only" ceremony, but I could understand the request at a reception where adults will be partaking in adult beverages. No one wants to have kids around alcohol and stupid behavior. ....As far as Emily Post, I'm sure she'd also elaborate that a screaming infant at a ceremony in which the bride and the bridal party have spent months of expensive and time consuming preparation would also be a great crime against etiquette. Hope my opinion helps. :)
If a mother is nursing, she really needs to have her baby with her, especially if the baby was very young and needed to feed frequently. If the mother does not nurse regularly, her breasts can be come engorged and sometimes leak, which can be both painful and embarrassing. Since weddings and the ensuing reception often takes hours, not having the child with you can present problems for both mother and baby. If the baby is bottle fed, this should not be an issue, but back when Ms. Post was writing the rules, all children were breast fed.
I see no problem with adults only or at least 10 and older. I doubt a bride-and usually her mother- who is most likely on edge anyway would care to hear young children and babies acting up. Bringing them to a reception is quite another story though. As for nursing mothes bringing a newborn. Not a good idea. This is 2007 and it's simple enough to use a pump just like a working mom does. But anyway.... JMO
I believe Emily Post is a bit tacky herself. I'm all for good etiquette. However, there is a time and a place for children. Emily Post is talking about the "best case scenerio" for every situation. She is considering the mother who is polite enough to take her scream/fussing child out the middle of someone's wedding ceremony. Emily Post IS NOT considering what happens when the mother does NOT take the screaming infant out. And YES, there are parent who will let the kid scream. They are the same people who bring their 10 month long to a 10pm rated R movie and let them scream. Or the same mother who lets her 6 month old scream and cry in a restaurant and she is comforting it with one hand and sipping wine with the other. It really happens. Like I said, there is a time and a place for children. Don't get me wrong, I'm a teacher and I love kids. But, I do think it's in good etiquette to ask to have an adults only affair. In fact, as a child I never went to wedding with my parents. Even if I was invited. I learned that wedding and other adult affairs (especially later in the evening) were places for adults to go. It was adult food, adult drinks (liquor) and adult conversation (business, current events, etc) It was not a time and place for children to be running around. Someone's costly weddding was NOT a playground. I'm all for No children at the wedding. If the mother is offended, she can decline politely. I would never be offended if my kids weren't invited (unless it was one of my siblings weddings---and that's the ONLY case). Kids don't belong at every event. Plus, we live in the year 2007. I understand that nursing/feeding and infant is important. But, all breastfeeding mothers I know have pumped milk before and feed it to their child in a bottle. It's not the end of the world to put the milk in the bottle for one night and have the babysitter/aunt/grandmother/whoever bottle feed the baby.
NO CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 13 AT MY WEDDING THEY WILL MAKE YOUR SPECIAL DAY A DISASTER!!!!!!!!! AND BABY'S CRY ALOT THAT WILL TAKE AWAY FROM THE BRIDE AND THE CERIMONY
Oh please, as if nursing infants can't have formula or pre-pumped milk. It's not going to hurt the kid. I say no to children! If mommy can't leave her children with someone else then mommy shouldn't come to my wedding! The etiquette website is wrong. Children are disruptive and do not belong at weddings or other adult functions, that includes screaming babies. In fact, I don't even think that children under the age of 5 should be allowed in public.
A bride named 'Harold'? Okey doke. Well, I agree that a nursing infant needs to be with its mother...how selfish would you have to be, as a bride, to deny a child food! So therefore, it would be rude to ask a mother to leave her child behind. However, nursing mothers also have alternatives; like pumping milk discreetly during the reception or as was stated previously, sit near an exit so you can take baby outside. It should be up to the mother though. If she was invited, then let her make her own choice. And while it is true that the bride has put a lot of effort, time and money into her wedding day, the world does not stop turning on account of her and she needs to give herself (or be given) a reality check periodically.
I agree that mothers with new babies should opt to either stay at home or get a babysitter, but not for the reasons mentioned. It is too stressful for MOM to have to worry about baby, and especially if it is a newborn, having the baby around so many people that could possibly bring in an illness, etc. So it is probably wiser for both mom and baby's sake that baby isn't there any way. Now, if a bride actually thinks that hearing a baby start to cry in the ceremony is going to ruin the entire evening, then she is being a bitch and needs to get over it. *MOST* moms are generous enough to understand that no one wants to hear an infant screaming throughout the ceremony...and would probably make an immediate exit as soon as the first wince came out. I know as a mother I would do that...and I have seen plenty of other moms do the same. If a bride is going to secretly hate the thought of "unbearable brats" in the wedding then she better make certain that it is clear that only the adults are invited.
I had an adult wedding reception. My sister had a baby 3 months before the wedding and she was nursing. My sister had her in-laws watch the baby and I let her pump in my bathroom in the hotel. Honestly, a nursing baby does not have to be with a mother 24/7, that's why there are breast pumps. Most mothers understand that a wedding is not the best place for a baby. Especially if it is an evening wedding. Seriously, you don't want a crying baby in your wedding video....could you imagine? And as for kids not being a problem, i have to disagree. My sister's maid of honor thought it would be appropriate to breast feed her 2 year old (oh yes i said 2) at the rehearsal dinner and the wedding reception. My sister was mortified and so were several guests. Especially because she didn't cover up.
All I can do is speak for myself and what I have experienced. I only have 2 nursing moms (they are both my 'maids). They have both decided to bring their parents along to watch the infants in their hotel rooms so they can have fun and party with us and their husbands. One is pumping her breastmilk for the night, the other does not drink alcohol and will be going up to the hotel room to nurse throughout the night. I suppose her son is on a schedule. This was what they both thought was best for them, and they both decided this on their own. I have another 'maid who is leaving her child with the grandma at home. My fiance and I are providing childcare at the ceremony and reception venues, so I can't see a problem. These people go to work all day without their children, and here the child is right down the hall for only a few hours! If anyone we are not aware about IS nursing, this should not be a problem. She would likely want to leave the reception area to nurse anyway. I can see the pros and cons to both weddings with children and those without. I personally think it is up to the couple and what their family would be happier with as well. Some families have a lot of small children, they may never even consider an adults only wedding. Others with few children may prefer a formal adults only reception.
Personally I think nursing infants are fine at weddings (is they cry someone usually takes them outside and the couple usually leave a little bit earlier at the reception). However sometimes the todler to 10 year old can be very stressful at weddings. Running around, disturbing stangers, complaining loudly. It can be a bit much for all the guests. It depends on what sort of wedding you are having. It is is ultra formal kids probably don't work, if it is more relaxed I would say they are fine.
Wow i never knew there were so many baby haters....
If you're getting married and holding the reception in a church, talk to the pastor about hiring the usual Sunday nursery attendant and opening up the nursery for little ones. After all, a sensible nursing mom won't be popping out her breast to feed a little one during your wedding ceremony, will she? That way, with the nursery available and a reliable sitter on hand, the mom can nurse before the ceremony, if necessary, and then at intervals during the reception. Likewise, if the reception is at a hotel, consider renting a room and hiring a sitter (perhaps another guest has an older child who would be pleased to earn a little money while watching TV in a nice hotel room?), and the mother can go back and forth to the room as needed. This also works well for guests with toddlers.
Who or what is Emily Post and why does everyone treat her rules as ones that must be obeyed at all costs? All wedding traditions and etiquette are dreamed up and invented by people and turned into traditions. None of it is really that important, as long as two people who love each other, make a committment to one another.
When I got married I invited the people to bring their kids, but I can understand why some people don't do it, some people cannot control their children and that can have devastating effects (I attended a wedding where one couple presumed that the other guests were keeping an eye on their child, the child fell and burned her hand very badly on some candles). If I had decided against a no children wedding I would still have said to my friend who was nursing a 3 week old baby that she was welcome to bring the baby with her, the baby has to eat after all!
Well if we are going off the first time marriage/no kids yet theory then no most brides probably are not aware of this fact. And I have to say that weddings aren't all day affairs (usually) and that's what breast pumps are for.
What in the world is going on that people have this unrealistic vision of infants screaming and children running wild at weddings??!! I have NEVER seen such a sight. First, I have a son who will be one next week. I have taken him everywhere and he has seldom put on a screaming display. And if he does, we immediately remove ourselves and take care of any issues... (hungry, dirty diaper, etc.) He's been to church, two weddings, and even sat through a class with me for two weeks when my hubby was working. I kept enough toys and snacks and bottles to keep him happy. The trick to keeping kids out of trouble is to have enough for them to do that doesn't lead to trouble. BTW, baloons are a BAD idea. Kids will grab them, hit each other wth them, and start running around. My cousin's wedding had tons of kids of ALL ages. Infants included. I did not hear ANY screaming at her wedding. I heard a few adults coughing and clearing their throats. Perhaps THEY shouldn't have been invited because they DARE make a noise. My own wedding had tons of kids. At the reception, I had acticity pads with crayons available, so kids either colored or danced. My hubby's nephews are little terrors usually, but even they were on their best behavior. We had a brief instance of a finger in the cake, but it wasn't the end of the world. No one cared. Not even the bride (ME). As many people have said in the past, a wedding IS a family function. Normal people don't get trashed at weddings. If your big objection to kids at weddings is because you want to get drunk, you'd better head over to an AA meeting. And as for the nursing baby thing... if you haven't done it, don't comment on it. I never nursed my son in public, but I did have him with me so we could scoot off to a private location when needed. It's a lot easier to nurse discreetly than it is to pump discreetly. You can hold your baby closely and cover up without anyone knowing whether you are just holding a sleeping baby close or if you are nursing. You CAN'T hide you big pump bag, the hoses attached to the bag, or the big cups with bottles attached that you are holding up to your boobs. When you are nursing every two hours, it is absolutely painful to become engorged. Not only does it hurt your breasts, but it hurts so bad under your arms that you don't even want to put your arms down. Not to mention the leaking and possibilities of Mastitis. I think people in general need to get over themselves and realize that kids are a part of our world too. Some parents do the best parenting by bringing their children with them to all sorts of places... retaurants, movies, the mall, weddings, birthday parties, church, etc. If you don't take your children anywhere, how in the world do you expect them to learn HOW to behave in different settings? They have to go places, make mistakes, and learn where you remain quiet and where you can run wild. Maybe the reason people are seeing screaming and wild children is because they are left with babysitters too often. Enjoy your kids. Take them with you whenever you can. Yes, there are places that children shouldn't be, but there is NO REASON a wedding needs to be one of them. There are no strippers at a wedding, adults should be able to control themselves if they see kids around, and it can actually be fun to watch them be all dressed up and dancing on the dance floor, etc.