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if the groom postpones the wedding should he pay back lost deposits to brides family?

recently my daughters fiance postponed their wedding. His irresponsible act cost the brides family many thousand of dollars in deposits. Should he be held accountable and be expected to pay for his actions?

Public Comments

1. That would be the responsible thing for him to do, but that does not mean that he will do it.
2. i would think so... call a lawyer and find out.. cause there is no way he will be willing to fork out thousands of dollars...
3. Yes, absolutely.
4. postpones means it's going to happen just not right now. can't you talk to them and just change the date. there shouldn't be much of an issue there.
5. Of course, the polite thing to do would be to pay back any lost deposits. He shouldn't even have to be asked! My parents lost a lot when my sister was supposed to get married (her fiance called of the wedding twice before she finally left him!) and it's not right. Unfortunately they never got any of their money back. I hope it works out better for you, and for your daughter.
6. First of all, you sound a bit like a district attorney! It's not always irresponsible to postpone a wedding, and there may not be anyone to be held "accountable". At any rate, I don't know that he should pony up the full amount, since your daughter is partly to blame, as well, for getting caught up in wedding planning with someone who obviously wasn't quite ready. But I'd expect him to at least attempt to reimburse for as much as he could. If he ignores this and doesn't attempt to discuss it with you, then I'd agree at a minimum he's a bit boorish.
7. What custom prevails in ur society, I don't know.As human, is it not our responsibility to compensate any lose occured to others just because of our fault or mistake? Accepting or refusing the compensation is the looser's choice.It is gentle to give the amount wasted, before asked. I am in India. I think u r in states.
8. Yes, absolutely, what an idiot.
9. You mean his decision cost your family many thousands of dollars. Morally, he should be responsible to pay the debt for you. Legally, that's probably not the case. You signed the contracts, you're obliged. Count it as an expensive lesson learned. This is why most all wedding vendors want deposits and cash upfront, weddings don't always happen as agreed to. I also wouldn't say his act was irresponsible. It seems more responsible to delay a wedding than to go through the motions when you're not ready for it. I bet any trouble you're dealing with would be cheaper than if he had gone through with the wedding and then filed for divorce.
10. Absolutely, he should pay the deposits 100%. He is the one who backed out of the agreement. However I dont know that you have a strong legal case to hold him to it. If you have doubts that he will do it, contact an attorney and see if there is anything you can do. Or you might just set up a meeting with him, where you give him copies of all the bills and agree on a timeline to have him pay you back. He may be more inclined to do it if he has to see you face to face, and you make him agree to it right then and there. But again... dont hold your breath in case he doesnt.
11. i doubt it this most likely was given as a gift to your daughter. thousands of dollars in deposits?? that sure sounds like a lot of money to rent a son in law for.
12. Legally, this is a gray area. State "heartbalm" laws vary. (These "heartbalm" laws refer to broken engagements - who should pay damages, who gets to keep the ring, etc.) Early American laws, which are still observed in a small number of states, allow women and their families to sue for damages when the groom-to-be cancels or postpones the wedding. These suits are filed on the grounds of breach of promise. By the 1950s, many states had reversed their "heartbalm" laws, removing the legal protection for women and their family. If I were you, I would ask the groom to pay for the deposits. If he refuses, you have every right to decline giving any additional support if your daughter and her fiancé decide to reschedule the wedding. If you want to get litigious, contact a local attorney who can advise you on your state's heartbalm laws.
13. If he wanted them to help with the wedding when it DOES happen, yes. If he doesn't pay it back, then you should tell your daughter and son-in-law that they are financially on their own. BTW... losing deposits from a canceled wedding may cost a lot, but divorce costs a lot more.
14. Morally, yes. Legally, no. The deposits are the responsible for whomever's name is on the contract. If his name is not on them, then legally he is not responsible for them. All deposits (venues, florist, photographer, etc) have specific contracts, many of them have a "non-refundable deposit" if the event is canceled or postponed. To sue to have the refunds for the deposits, you would have to sue the place you paid them to, not the fiance, and likely you'd lose. You could try suing the fiance for payments of the deposits, but nobody forced you to pay them, and legally you are responsible for them if your name is on the contract. Most judges with toss out such lawsuits because they are frivolous and a waste of their time. In some cases, judges have been known to fine the person suing in these cases since they waste their time. Daughter (and you) need to chalk this one up as experience, perhaps she should find a more honorable man with integrity to decide to marry.