500 Wedding Ideas - What to do when mother in law wants boyfriend to be in my wedding photos?

What to do when mother in law wants boyfriend to be in my wedding photos?

Our wedding date is may 22, but parents are pretty much paying for the entire wedding. My fiancee mom has a boyfriend she has been dating for a couple years, and she is expecting him to be in the wedding photos and I don't feel to comfortable with him being in the photos, but I don't know how to approach the situation, my fiancee would tell her but usually twist and turns it and he gives in. I just feel like I don't want this man who I don't care for to be in my wedding photos.

Public Comments

It's really way to early to be worried about this kind of thing - anything could happen between now and then. Try to let this go and enjoy your engagement. Don't let potential issues become a problem now and take away this wonderful time in your life.
Well, how about you do some without him, and some with him. He MIGHT be her future husband, so it would make her and him happy, and if they go south, you still have pictures without him.. My husbands parent's are divorced, with a spouse of their own and we all got pictures with them in it. My parents were recently divorced and they even got pictures together. It was a great day and everybody was happy ^-^
Just tell her that. It is your wedding, your wedding photos. I think it is completely acceptable for you to only want the people you care about it your photos. And to be honest, unless its a group photo of all your guests he doesn't really have a place in the photos. Really all he is is a +1. I would wait until nearer the time to tell her though. For now just try to relax and look forward to your wedding.
I wouldn't worry so much. This guy would only been in a handful of photos, so only display the ones that he isn't in. They've been together for a few years so I guess it's serious, and you would only hurt your MIL's feelings and cause alot of tension.
I can only think of one thing. Granted, someone in this situation will always be uncomfortable, welcome to wedding planning 101! Weddings are a time of challenge for pretty much everyone involved. Why not have one set of photos with "significant others" included and another with "family only" (no spouses)? My husband's family does this regularly (family tradition). I'll admit, at first I felt it was rude, but now I have come to realize that my viewpoint is not always the best. It's something they like to do, and really, it's not hurting anybody. :) It's really not that hard to snap 2 sets of photos. On that point, even if you "don't care for" this man, he is a significant part of your fiance's life, or at least important to his mother. YOUR soon to be mother. Perhaps he may even become your father in law. This wedding is about families joining together. You have to ask yourself if you're marrying into the right family, and more so, are you going to let one man in a picture ruin your beautiful day? No, right?! Some people will say that technically, since they are not married, he is not family. However, I am sure that you would cause serious hurt if you did not at least include him in the "family and spouses" pictures. You need to talk with your fiance about this. This is one of the many compromises and issues that will arise as part of marriage. Planning a wedding is prep for that! You need to be able to communicate with your fiance and come to a conclusion together as a team. If you are having communication issues now, it's wise to step back and solve those before getting married. Disputes before the wedding are completely normal and expected, but being unable to resolve the issues is not a good sign. Sometimes an outside party, like a priest or premarital counsellor can help fine tune your communication. Never a bad thing for engaged couples. ;) I wouldn't worry too much about this. In the grand scheme of things, this is a fairly minor issue. You have more important things to worry about, so address this with your fiance, come to a conclusion, and move on! Good luck!
You take a few pictures with him in them and give her one of them as a gift.
I think you should have some pictures with him and a majority without, this might make your Mum happier as she will still get some photos with him and you will be happier because a majority of the photos will be without him. Talk to your Mum and explain that these wedding photos are photos you will have for the rest of your life and what happens if she and her boyfriend break up??? You will then be left with photos that she can't bear to look at and you don't want to. I also had to tell you my wedding day is 22nd May 2010 as well. Congrats and good luck
Your man needs to handle this. If the tables were turned, and he wanted to bring a girlfriend into wedding pictures, she would never stand for it - so your guy has to put it like that ... for his own wedding to you. When the time gets closer, he has to bring it up, and tell her that, as bride and groom, the two of you have decided to have ONLY FAMILY in the pictures. If they get married between now and May, you do understand that you're out of luck, and he will have to be in the pictures. Until then, you CAN and should put your foot down - I mean, your man can and should put HIS foot down. PLEASE don't say anything to her yourself - this is his to handle. His mom - his to handle. Congrats and best of luck !
He doesn't have to be in every single photo. Just take a couple with your fiance's mother and her boyfriend. It won't kill you.
you will have hundreds of photos taken on the day, let him be in a couple to keep everyone happy, then kick him out for the rest. it's not like you have to choose a picture with him in it to hang on your wall, but your new mum in law might like a copy as a gift after the wedding. you haven't mentioned why you don't like this guy, but also keep in mind this is your fiancee's family, so maybe let him make the choice and deal with it. you make the decisions regarding your side of the family.
Sorry, but this is what happens when somebody else pays for your wedding. He / she who holds the chequebook calls the shots. Have a few taken with the boyfriend in them , send her copies and you just leave those ones out of your wedding album. You could always pay for the photos yourself, then you can have anybody you want (or don't want ) in them.
heres my short answer since there were two many long answers i coudlnt read them all: photographers take about 5 million pics...ask her for some with and some with just immediate family. plus u said they have been dating for years not just a few weeks so if they're pretty serious isnt he part of the fam by now?
They will be 'our' wedding photos not 'my', as such, if you believe you have the right to exclude a man who could well become your father-in-law 'because you don't care for him', then your hubby to be should have the same right to exclude someone as well. As someone who has been married for a couple of years, usually the photos are pored over for the first 6 months, the 'couple' photo permanently displayed and then the album is put away as life moves on. If children are born then they become the 'in' photos to show and display, and perhaps the wedding photos a sad reminder of how skinny you were! Lastly, chose your battles wisely! If you already know that she twists & turns things and that your fiance gives in .... insult her by rudely excluding her boyfriend and you will have to deal with the repercussions for years and years, whether she remains with him or not! Have a couple of photos taken with him included / excluded without making a big deal out of it ..... life goes on. Congratulations & have a beautiful wedding day
If your fiance feels the same way, then you both need to talk to her together and explain to her that you would just like to have your family in the pictures. Let her know that it is nothing against her boyfriend (even if it is), but that you would prefer your pictures not to include him. If she still insists on having him in your pictures, then I would suggest taking just a few pictures with him in it, but taking the exact same pictures minus the boyfriend.
Have the photographer take some group photos with him,and family photos without him...and just buy the ones you want.
If you are going to say anything, I would just get one of each. After you take the one with him in it, ask if you can get one with just your mother-in-law. I wouldn't do this for every shot of course. But I think that's fair enough for a couple. It's not like your mother-in-law would be in all the photos anyway. The photographer usually has a list of what photos to take so you should get with him or her on the matter and then you may be able to get the shot without him without even saying anything so you don't have to worry about hurting any feelings. Good Luck!
Just drop it. Is it really that important to make a stink about? As others have said, the photographer will probably take hundred of photos. At most you will probably only keep a couple on display in your home (none of the ones we display has anybody but ourselves in them) and a few dozen more in a photo album (that you will look at maybe once a year). If you don't want him in any of the photos you keep it shouldn't be that hard.